22 Takeaways from 2022

Like that viral TikTok audio, "Season 22 comes to an end..." Well, I still think I'm mentally in 2021.

Hi again! I would apologize for not posting for months, but I'm working on this new thing where I stop saying sorry for everything. Instead, good to be back! It's been a hell of a couple of months-- some great things and some not so great. But this time of year is by far my favorite. Not just because I'm obsessed with the Michael Bublé Christmas album and Home Alone 2 (an iconic holiday film), but also for the joy, celebration, and unity that reaches an all time high during this time of year. Aside from holiday movies, winter breaks, comfort food, and gifts, the conclusion of the year cultivates action: goal setting and motivation. Don't get me wrong, I could probably benefit from writing things down more often and being a little more realistic about how many things I can pack into my schedule. But instead of looking forward, I want to take a moment to look back. Here are my:

22 Takeaways from 2022

1. I have some really fucking awesome friends.

I have come to a point in my life where I am absolutely in awe of the people I get to call my friends. I feel so lucky and grateful to be surrounded by such kind, charismatic, talented, and loyal people. Sappy, but true.

2. Show a little love. Even to people who you think don't deserve it.

This year I took on a management role at my yoga studio. Working in customer service or any customer-facing industry is truly God's work. I've been faced with so many different situations that historically I wouldn't have handled with grace. I've learned that sometimes it only takes is listening and showing a little compassion. At the end of the day, a little love and kindness goes a long way.

3. Protect your peace.

As a recovering people pleaser, I am learning how to stop sacrificing my peace for the sake of others. There are obviously times we need to compromise or feel some of the natural human discomfort, but I'm not letting the unnecessary cloud my sense of grounding.

4. Patience, baby, patience.

I've had to be patient this year. And it was worth it.

5. You can change your mind.

This year, I've made some incredible career changes. While I love acting, and always will, I've been more interested in exploring my other artistic interests. Above all titles, I want to be a storyteller. I love to write, and I have so many things to say. I'm letting go of the narrative,"I'm giving up on my dream." Instead, I'm exploring my other interests and letting the journey guide me to what is meant for me.

6. Let people show you who they are.

At the beginning of 2022 I dated this guy. We'll call him Max. I really liked Max-- more than any guy in a long time. For a month or two, I saw Max nearly everyday and he showered me with every compliment and cliche from a 2000's rom com. I ate that shit up! Things moved quickly, and I was lost in a haze of lust and companionship. That is until I saw another side of him that is unimportant to this post-- but I realized he wasn't the guy I had been creating in my head. I was obsessed with his potential, but the whole of him was not the right fit. And honestly, that's not fair to either of us. It ended, because I let him show me who he really was. But also:

7. It's okay to trust.

From a handful of bad dating experiences and toxic friendships, I have a difficult time taking people for their word. But like I said in #6, let people show you who they are, and sometimes they might just surprise you. When people show you kindness, empathy, and consistency, it's okay to trust. It's a scary thing for me, but like anything, practice gets you a little closer perfect. Whatever "perfect" even is.

8. Sometimes, you have to deal with real assholes.

Pardon my french, but I worked with perhaps one of the most condescending people ever this year. Luckily I no longer work with said person, but lesson reinforced that not everyone is going to be nice.

9. Pause. Think. Speak.

I can be impulsive, I admit it, but that's not an excuse for talking or acting out of rash emotional. Being aware is the first step, and I'm actively trying to pause when I'm faced with challenge. Taking a moment to just pause and reflect before you react has one a world of wonder for my own sanity, and the feelings of others.

10. The present is all we have.

Obviously we have memories, experiences, goals, and wishes that help shape who we are, but in real time, the present moment is literally all we have. I'm trying to more actively enjoy the people around me, and less about what's going on in my head or phone.

11. And sometimes, YOLO.

I'm really referencing the 2010's here, but hey, it's honestly timeless. In honor of being present, sometimes it's okay to take risks, try new things, and just say fuck it and do the dang thing.

12. Laugh at yourself more. Life ain't that serious.

13. Woah. Therapy is working!

Shocker! Well, kinda yes. I've been in therapy for a couple years now, and was waiting for my big "Ah ha!" moment when all my anxiety came to an end. Spoiler, I still haven't had it. But what I have gained are tools in self-reflection and compassion, and I'm finally able to put them to use.

14. The world doesn't revolve around me.

Like, duh. What I mean is my anxiety about what other's think of me (for the most part) is in my head. I can have wild narratives about little things, like how the check out lady at Trader Joe's probably thinks I'm am antisocial asshole because I didn't give a warm-enough "hello." When in reality, she probably didn't give a crap. And like, who can blame her? We are all concerned about ourselves-- so why waste time worrying what everyone else thinks?

15. Drink water.

I feel like the older I get, the more my body is affected by things like this. And I'm still so young! Jeez.

16. Be kinder to myself.

I'm guilty of not being so kind to myself. The narrative needs to shift, and in 2022 I've been trying to show myself a little more love, too.

17. PMS is so real.

I've always experienced bad cramps, but I don't think it was until this year I've experienced mood swings (okay, or least now that I'm aware of). Time to block off time in my calendar for tears, journaling, annoying FaceTime calls, and lots of popcorn.

18. Bitch, you need to budget better.

Mostly just a note to self.

19. I don't always have to be right.

I'm strong-headed when it comes to my beliefs and values, of course for good reason. But we live in a world with billions of different minds, backgrounds, and experiences. There's simply no way I'm "right--" it's just how I think. This little bit of understanding goes a long way.

20. Take better care of yourself.

Obviously most things I am listing here are in service of taking better care of yourself. In this one, I'm talking about the physical: being more conscious of sleep, water, getting steps in, and cleaning up my space.

21. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.

Not intentionally quoting Camp Rock here, but I'm learning to find comfort in the present. I have a tendency to be forward thinking, future-oriented, and extremely unkind to myself when I don't meet my own expectations. Just because I'm not a professional TV writer or huge name actor doesn't devalue who I am as a person. Which brings me to:

22. I am whole, as I am.

This has been an affirmation I've shared with my yoga class for months now. So often I place value on the external circumstances in my life: my job, my salary, my relationships, my appearance, and the list goes on. While these things of course have value, it's become equally as important to remind myself that all things stripped away, I am still a whole person worthy of good fortune, relationships, joy, and peace.

And that's what happened in this season of Tessa's Life. Stay tuned for more!

Xo,

T