I have this thing where I get older, but just never wiser...

To quote Taylor Swift herself.

I'm back, and perhaps more lost than ever. Lost, but content. Content, but scared. Scared, but excited.

This week I'm turning 25 years old. Which, I know, is not old. But I simultaneously feel like I have decades of wisdom under my belt, and literally know not one single fucking thing at the same time. Quite the conundrum playing out in my mind these days.

A month ago, a year ago, 5 years ago, I could have never predicted where I'd be. 5 years ago, I thought I would be living in Brooklyn and doing some avant garde off-Broadway theatre. A year ago, I thought I'd be making a lot more money. And today, I'm here to report I don't know anything. And that's okay.

During my yoga classes, I share a mantra that has played an incremental role in my growth, healing, and development of deeper self worth. That mantra is

I am whole, as I am.

Holding up a mirror to my own internal obstacles, my doubts, expectations, comparison, and self-loathing are my biggest hinderance to peace. I remind myself, and my students by extension, that all external circumstances stripped away-- we are in fact, whole and worthy beings just as we are.

Right now, I'm trying to reinforce that mantra more than ever. I'm waiting to hear back from grad school. I quit my full time job. I've accepted a job I know little about. I have one more year on my parents' health insurance. I'm in relationship for the first time in long time. My day-to-day life is busier than ever, but I feel lost in the mix. I have no idea what I'm doing now, or what that will look like next week. I'm trying my best at everything, but have no idea what any of this means, or where I'll end up from here. It feels like I'm just sailing the seas without a map (or GPS).

So cheers to my quarter-life-crisis. I really see why people call it that now.

Until next time,

T